she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
he's gonorrhea incarnate
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment