You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
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Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that