You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
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Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
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After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
is that a dick in a sweater?
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.