I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Randomize
