You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
