someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
