And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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