Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize