i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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