I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
