brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Randomize
