i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize