So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize