She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize