3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
