I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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