So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Randomize
