i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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