Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
