i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Randomize
