what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
