You made me cry and you don't even care
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
