puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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