He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
