Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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