you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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