So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
thus making me awesome and them whores
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize
