Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
