You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Soap is not a condiment
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Randomize
