i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
