omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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