I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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