small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
