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• (407): View more from Florida

  my vagina has a 5:00 shadow

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• (813): View more from Florida

  I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.

  (407): View more from Florida

  i think you have the wrong number

  (813): View more from Florida

  so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.

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• (507): View more from Minnesota

  Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell

  (720): View more from Colorado

  That's the classiest thing you've ever said.

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  Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)

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• (586): View more from Michigan

  You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"

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• (757): View more from Virginia

  Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.

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• (707): View more from California

  please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up

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• (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.

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• (908): View more from New Jersey

  He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.

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  Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom

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• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME

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• (917): View more from New York City

  On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.

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• (386): View more from Florida

  Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...

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• (515): View more from Iowa

  I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..

  (320): View more from Minnesota

  You did not just say that.

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• (314): View more from Missouri

  this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it

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