well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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