I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
