went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
