I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Randomize