Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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