And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
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the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
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Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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