I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
