hotel room ftw
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Randomize
