Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Sext me about skeletons
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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