I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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