Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
