I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
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