This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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