Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
