i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
