Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize