Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
