Dual....:-)
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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