i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
