i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Randomize
