her vagine was all disorganized.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
