All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
