it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
