Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
