I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize