I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
