I hope mine doesn't look like that
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
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