I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Randomize
