It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Randomize
