I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
