Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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