so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
