Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
